why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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