My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
