you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
