Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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