look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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