Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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