u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
