She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
