I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
