it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I think I just sharted jello shots
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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