After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
