he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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