I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Church boner. Awkwardddd
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize