i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
