That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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