I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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