all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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