Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
