he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It was a blind-side dick pic.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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