so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
