He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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