Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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