You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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