this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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