If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize