I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Randomize
