I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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