carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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