My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize