So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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