apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
