Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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