Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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