Can Purell be used as lube?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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