White coat. Heels.
You're so nebulous sometimes
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
