One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
