hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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