He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
