Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
only if we run a train.
done.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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