There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize