Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
