I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
