so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
