I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
