yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I smell like Dick and happiness
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
