I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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