he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
