please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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