you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We're too hungover to prance.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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