I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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