if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
