Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Pants are for mortals
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
