THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
