he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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