piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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