Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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