did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
this must be what syphilis tastes like
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize