come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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