Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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