And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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