don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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