Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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