party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I haven't been this sober since birth.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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