Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
