So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
