when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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