please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
