Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
