we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
