I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
