Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
