Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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