oh god the rape fog is back!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
is wine microwaveable?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
