remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
