bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
