In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
