Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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