If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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